Having sex is good for health, doctors say. But we have often wondered if the amount of sex we have is normal, insufficient or too must. Let’s explore some medical studies to discover the answer.
Let take into account, in the first place, that what’s considered “normal” varies greatly according to age, physical condition or each person’s personal circumstances.
Doctors always advise us to take care of ourselves, stop smoking, a moderate consumption of alcohol and, among many other recommendations, having a healthy sexual life. Let’s see what a recent study says when asked how much sex should a person have to reap the health benefits of sex.
On a study performed on more than a hundred university students, it was found that those who had sex once or twice a week had 30% higher levels of immunoglobulin A than those who didn’t have any sex or those who had sex more often than twice a week.
As IgA is essential in the immune response of the body, according to this study, to benefit our immune system, the ideal frequency is once or twice a week. But, of course, this study is done on university students, let’s see the statistics in relation to age groups.
The frequency in sexual relations varies greatly according to age, decreasing as age increases.
The Kinsey Institute, which explores love, sexuality and well being, reports in its studies that people between the ages of 18-29 have sex an average of 112 times a year, those between the ages of 30-29 an average of 86 times a year and from 40-49 an average of 69 times a year. In any case, the average means some people are over and others below any of those numbers. The average doesn’t help knowing what’s right for an individual person.
From this we conclude there is a difference between frequency and levels of happiness. A person can be perfectly happy with a low frequency because that’s what it needs at that time of their life and, on the contrary, another may not feel happy with a high frequency but doesn’t know how to communicate it to their partner.
The book The Normal Bar, written by Northrup, Schwartz and Witte, three American academics and published in 2013, is based upon thousands of questionnaires to discover what makes a couple happy.
According to the authors, the perfect amount for the basic levels of happiness is from three to four times a week. However, the category which fits the majority of people is the one in which sexual relations occur once a week.
In the book they point out that, the more time it passes without sex, the more the pressure increases between the partners to have longer sexual relations the next time.
There are also couples who never have sexual relations and despite of it they can feel happy, that said, that’s the case only when both partners agree not to have sexual relations. That old social prejudice that assumes couples who don’t have sex have problems is simply false.
However, it’s good to distinguish if what happens is simply that they got used to not having sex or if they don’t practice sex as a couple but obtain sexual satisfaction from a sex professional when they need it without disturbing their peaceful relationship as a couple. There’s a reason why the escorts industry continues to rise.
The real issue, as pointed out by Dr. Fisch, director of the male Reproductive center in New York City, it’s not how much sex you have but whether you and your partner are happy with the sex you have, beside frequency.
And, for that, there are many elements that can help, as changing the place where you practice sex, adding variety, trying new postures, imagining risks or kinky sexual fantasies, even daring to have a service from couples with an escort and enjoying a trio that breaks away from routine and opens you to new sexual experiences as a couple.
Sometimes feeling jealous can activate the sexual excitement when we’ve become comfortable in the relationship. Provoking, surprising with some sexy lingerie or enjoying together a massage for couples, a new lubricant with strawberry flavor or a blindfold next time we have sex, are just some of the many ideas that will make your sexual satisfaction increase.
The only question worth asking is: are you satisfied with the sex you have? If the answer is yeas, you’re onto the right path. If not, now you have some ideas to make it improve. After all, the solution may be not how much but how.
Remember, the secret is in a simple motto: quality better than quantity.