Do you have a satisfactory sex life? Maybe your sex life is not as good as it could be, or so it seems to you. Perhaps sex is not quite as in the movies, where sex scenes seem endless and flawless, bodies are fit and there’s never a scene in which the man just can’t get it up or the woman isn’t coming. But, in the real world, it’s often the case that things don’t go quite as one would expect them to go. Too many expectations or unrealistic ones about what satisfactory sex means don’t help either.
Studies show men think about sex twice as much as women but, thinking about it is not the same as getting good sex. It’s precisely the anxiety of living up to the media’s portrayal of a sexually successful man what can act as a mental barrier to great sex. Self doubt is men’s worst enemy as well as self consciousness about their body. Men face both mental and physical barriers and often both are intertwined. They are even confused about what a satisfactory sex life really means to them, specifically, away from stereotypes of virility.
So, some tips about what makes great sex:
Talking to your partner
Sex is not a mechanical enterprise, it requires an intimate engagement in your partner’s needs and the freedom to ask them what they like and don’t, creating an atmosphere of trust. It also implies listening to your own needs and being able to communicate them to your partner. In other words, men need to speak up during sex.
From head to toe
Men often focus on the genitalia forgetting their partner’s body, as well as their own, comprises a larger area. Kisses, licks and caresses across the entire body, back to front and head to toe, will turn your sex life upside down. There is nothing as exciting as having your partner explore every corner and every inch of your body as if they were exploring a new territory. How intense to discover the skin on the eyelid is a hypersensitive spot or the back of your knee has an ultra sensitive fold. Open your mind to the body-sex.
Great sex isn’t porn
Pornography shouldn’t be your point of reference. The over sexualized bodies that appear in porn movies, over endowed men and pumped up women with bursting lips and breasts, only bring in confusion as to what sexual partners should look and act like. The same move doesn’t work on every partner, find out about the real person you are having sex with, women are not always ready for sex but foreplay can warm them up to it and sex doesn’t always end on an hearth shaking orgasm, shared pleasurable moments is satisfactory sex too.
A world of sensations
Minimizing stress about your performance as well as leaving worries and distractions aside, in other words, quieting the inner chatter that evaluates, judges and obsesses making you unable to relax and enjoy the experience. The trick is to be fully present and focused on pleasurable sensations. Eye gazing, massages and synchronized breathing are some of the techniques that help you connect with your partner and focus on feeling rather than thinking.
Size isn’t everything
Great sex doesn’t depend on having a big penis but on finding ways to stimulate your partner according to their particular body and taste, simply put, making sure those erogenous spots, located all over the body, are discovered and properly touched. Be open to the use of dildos, vibrators, your tongue, fingers, and yes, penis too. Be imaginative.
All in all, a satisfactory sex life is about you and your partner exploring pleasure together. Why not put these tips into practice and see what happens.